btrzp / posted on 2 August 2014

Bella Drake: Say a law was made tomorrow: For you to love me was a crime. They it’s filthy and unnatural. Would you stop, Bennet? Turn off your love like a gas tap, just to obey?

Bennet Drake: I’d be the filthiest scofflaw this land had ever seen.

Bella Drake: Say a law was made tomorrow: For you to love me was a crime. They it’s filthy and unnatural. Would you stop, Bennet? Turn off your love like a gas tap, just to obey?

Bennet Drake: I’d be the filthiest scofflaw this land had ever seen.

TAGS: Ripper Street Threads Of Silk And Gold Season 2 Episode 5 Kieron Hawkes Toby Finlay Thomas Martin Jerome Flynn Detective Sergeant Bennet Drake Gillian Saker Bella Drake

btrzp / posted on 1 August 2014

Edmund Reid: If Mr. Quint is any example, I begin to think a law that makes a crime of human love will police itself in pure despair.

Edmund Reid: If Mr. Quint is any example, I begin to think a law that makes a crime of human love will police itself in pure despair.

TAGS: Ripper Street Threads Of Silk And Gold Season 2 Episode 5 Kieron Hawkes Toby Finlay Thomas Martin Matthew Macfadyen Detective Inspector Edmund Reid Jerome Flynn Detective Sergeant Bennet Drake Love Homosexuality Police Despair Crime Human

btrzp / posted on 1 August 2014

Ripper Street: Threads of Silk and Gold

Although I found the tale of the case to be a bit predictable and not as compelling as it could have been. Ripper Street’s (2x05) Threads of Silk and Gold had some standing out moments that I could not help but love. In my opinion, it was still another thematically strong episode as both the main cast and the supporting characters find themselves struggling with their own conflicting perceptions of desire vs. duty.

What most resonated with me, though, was how those very struggles in these characters set in 1890 are still very much alive in our society 124 years later, no matter how much progress we seemingly make. 

First we have the lover’s tale of a relationship forbidden by the society they inhabit and their subsequent desire and desperation to escape both the metaphorical shackles of judgment and the literal shackles of incarceration, given that homosexuality was more than frowned upon at the time. Now you don’t necessarily need to be in a homosexual relationship to experience social discontent but in all honesty, how many out there today have not felt the watchful and ever condemning eyes of society and its rules on our backs just for the company we keep? 

Then we have the tale of the self-centered banker, Franklin Stone, with a greed for gold to match Tolkien’s famous Smaug. Greed and pride that eventually lead him to cover up the assistance of bad investments made by the House of Barings that held neither the capital nor the intention to rescue the common men from the debt into which they had just been rather blindly thrown into. If this is not reminiscent of the distrustful quality we continue to have of bankers then I don’t know what is. 

Stone’s demise as horrifying as it was, it was deeply cathartic and satisfying at the same time. Not only for the greediness inherent to his self-centered personality but also for his smug and pretentiousness which met a rather fitting response to his last words, “Name your price”. It all came down to gold for him, didn’t it? But for a heartbroken young boy that got cheated out of forever by the sheer greed of an old bat, blood, not gold was the answer he sought. 

Or our favorite resident pesky journalist Freddie Best, who was given a juicier plot this time around as he is tragically confronted with his need for justice and freedom of speech with his need to save his own reputation from social shunning, culminating in a choice that many still face nowadays. No one is without skeletons, and then just as today, it takes more than good morals to have the courage to face them outside as we do inside the safety of our homes. 

Reid’s plight this episode was his questioning of the law’s effectiveness in not only the protection of the people but in policing the right evils, as we witnessed in his late night ramblings with Drake about the nature of love and its beckoned consequences. This saw him at the end of the episode, finally breaking down and admitting not only his mistakes to himself but to Miss Cobden, along with his wishes to leave the darkness behind and finally meet the sun beside her.

And whilst the good Sergeant Drake tries to reconcile with his own views of what it means to follow the law blindingly and what has been brought to his attention by the Inspector, Mrs. Drake simply offers up the repercussions of a turn of tables as a modest yet effective counter argument, offering us a rare tender moment between the Drakes. And isn’t that what it always comes down to? What if what we deny others was simply denied to us on the same principle? Would we be as quick to judge another man or woman’s choice of lifestyle?

On his end Captain Jackson struggled with a different sense of duty when it came to Susan/Caitlin. What was a rather dull and predictable plot between Duggan and the feisty American beauty, became the beginning of the breaking point of Susan and Jackson’s marriage. His sense of significance as a husband, or rather lack thereof, prompt him, albeit with the best of intentions, to make every decision on behalf of Susan end in a spectacularly heartbreaking scene. A scene where the quiet calamity washes the moment when Susan kicks the Captain out with a solemn icy “Get out.” that is the perfect look at the extent of his betrayal and far more effective than any of their previous shouting quarrels ever were. Where you previously witnessed the anger, the fervor but still all the love and pent up emotions in their shouting matches, this collected resolve was a better illustration of the disillusionment she felt towards Jackson and just how drained she had become of the whole thing. I do hope the pair is not done just yet, MyAnna Buring and Adam Rothenberg play beautifully off each other and I always love the energy on screen between the two whenever they fight and make up.

This all begs the question, will the relentless misery on Ripper Street continue, or will the finale see some fleeting resemblance of a happy ending for any of our beloved characters?

TAGS: Ripper Street Threads Of Silk And Gold Season 2 Episode 5 Kieron Hawkes Toby Finlay Thomas Martin Matthew Macfadyen Detective Inspector Edmund Reid Leanne Best Jane Cobden Jerome Flynn Detective Sergeant Bennet Drake Gillian Saker Bella Drake Adam Rothenberg Captain Homer Jackson MyAnna Buring Long Susan David Dawson Fred Best Peter Sullivan Franklin Stone Alfie Stewart David Goodbody Jassa Ahluwalia Vincent Featherwell London 1890 Homosexuality

Bethany Joy Lenz / posted on 29 July 2014

I Know (Feat. Nikhil d'Souza) from Your Woman

TAGS: Bethany Joy Lenz Your Woman I Know Song Music Nikhil d'Souza

btrzp / posted on 5 July 2014

Blue Eyed Leopard Goes Green

After some health set backs in the last two years I have been slowly educating myself in a healthier, greener lifestyle. Much to the chagrin of my family who seems to think I am turning into a hypochondriac or something equally annoying…

But who cares, they’ll get around to it!

I am slowly starting to, as much as my current limited budget allows me to, change all my products into more natural, organic ones that will allow me to get rid of all the chemicals I have always been exposed to.

These last five months or so I had been using a sulfate free shampoo:  KeraCare Hydrating Detangling Shampoo.


It worked great. In fact it helped me get rid of the itchy scalp problem I had when using the usual commercial shampoos. In fact, when I went to the hairdresser to get my haircut and they washed my head with their shampoo my scalp started to itch like crazy that very night. It is a very moisturizing shampoo, and although it doesn’t lather like the shampoo you might be used to, it does it’s cleaning job just as well, if not better. A little goes a long way and, for someone who has curly long hair that is a pain to detangle, this shampoo made it way easier. Yet, once I actually had the bottle and read the ingredients I found something in the ingredients which I hadn’t been able to read online: Disodium Laureth Sulfosuccinate. What is it? Well, a variation of the very thing I was trying to avoid. Although it is said to have larger molecules than Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) that cannot penetrate the skin, and some say it is considered suitable for more sensitive skin types. Although it is not a sulfate like its sister chemical SLS, this and the reviews I found of people who were sensitive even to this considered gentler foaming agent, was enough to put me off this shampoo.

On this note, upon countless hours on the internet, I have concocted my own shampoo recipe in order to give my little curls a better chance at a healthier look.

This was adapted from a pH balanced shampoo recipe I found on this blog:

Three main ingredients are: coconut milk, avocado pit and Aloe Vera gel. 

Since I couldn’t find organic coconuts, I had to make due with organic unsweetened shredded coconut. I put about 2 cups of coconut shreds and 2 1/2 cups of hot water into a cup and mixed the ingredients for a minute or so with a hand blender. Then I put it through a strainer to separate the milk from the coconut. I got 1 1/2 cups of milk. (If you don’t want anything to go to waste you can dry the coconut that is left on the strainer and later make coconut flour or coconut butter with them). 


I collected some Aloe Vera and extracted the gel myself straight from the leaf. I have to say I didn’t expect it to be so gooey but I wanted the properties of aloe and I didn’t have the time to wait for a super expensive order when I could get it natural and straight from the plant. From the leaves that I could cut without harming the plants it gave me about a cup or so of gel.


The avocado pits I decided to add because of its health benefits and since avocado flesh is used in moisturizing treatments I figured the pit should share in some of those properties. I grated 3 pits, which turned into a beautiful orange-like color as soon as they came into contact with air.


After boiling 6 cups of water I then added the grated pits letting it boil for about 5 minutes or so before turning the heat down to a simmer. Let it simmer for 45 minutes or an hour and stir it every once in a while as it starts to thicken. Afterwards pour it through a cheese cloth (or something similar) to get the pulp out. I got about 250 ml out of it.


Once all the ingredients have cooled down mix them together with a hand blender until there is a homogeneous mix. In my opinion, it had a beautiful color, and just handling each of the ingredients I could feel the softness on my skin.



Since there are no chemical preservatives I followed the advice of the recipe of pH balanced shampoo and poured the mixture onto ice cube trays. (Since I had only one, I improvised and used egg holders as well). I put them in the fridge until frozen and then transferred them into a plastic Ziploc bag. The whole mixture filled two egg holders and the ice cube tray (which is obviously smaller in cube size) twice.


There was a bit of it left in a jar that I saved for my shower. I can’t obviously make a lot of inferences from a one time use. But I have to say that although it was a bit liquid - I should have added more aloe, and I would think that more would make it less liquid in consistency but honestly it wasn’t really a problem for me - it felt amazing on my head. Obviously it isn’t going to foam but for someone with frizzy and dry hair I felt it immediately work on my curls and I didn’t even need conditioner to be able to detangle my knots. I let it work for five minutes or so, just to make sure that the ingredients had a bit more time to sink into my scalp, but I reckon if you’re in a hurry and don’t have time to wait, there shouldn’t be a problem.

Now every time I know I am going to wash my head all I have to do is take a cube out and put it in the fridge overnight and use it in the shower. Any leftovers I would keep in the fridge for the next time you want to wash your head.

As for smell, I got compliments on how good my hair smelled and even after a full day, it still smells wonderful.

TAGS: homemade shampoo natural living health organic coconut milk aloe vera avocado pit gel review smell detangle curly hair DIY

btrzp / posted on 2 July 2014

Forget Me Nots

I can’t make myself forget this. I wish I could, but I can’t and that’s the shittiest part of it all.

I am fucking great at forgetting, I do it every day. I don’t know why I can’t just press repeat and do what I have been doing for years just as effortlessly now.

It works like this: (As far as I know) You start doing it to the little things that you don’t want taking up space in your head or clogging up your negativity filter in your life and your body. Then with practice you move on to the big things, whilst sometimes telling yourself, that they are still the little things. And then when you notice what you are actually doing for - which is how you tell it back to yourself - but mostly to yourself, this once healthy habit has just become a daily crutch that you can’t even tell whether or not is there anymore.

You forget things, on a daily basis. It becomes part of your routine, stealing your own life away. So much so, that even when you do try to, you can’t remember it. You say you do, you nod your head in agreement but for the most part, your mind has just become too good at it.

Whether this is the only way for some of us to survive life, or a fantasy scenario of denial that takes over you like poison once you open that door, I don’t know.

All I do know is that I can’t erase this. My mind can’t erase this. I have tried, God knows my subconscious has tried - and succeded for the most part - but some things are floating back up, escaping their prison, and haunting me as they probably should. The cracks are starting to show and they are eating me alive.

My head is full of noise and I want it to stop. If only I knew how. I don’t know how to have silence without losing myself in it, and I don’t know how to have noise without losing my mind for it. The fine line gets very blurry with me and I have walked far too many times on each extremity and fallen off the edge to give into it yet again, after so much fighting.

I don’t know…I’d just like the answers now…

TAGS: forget remember life hardship love relationships little things big things poison door write soul bleed blue eyed leopard strength noise silence edge polar